Looking back in time

I haven't really been spending enough time with him.

When I was in secondary school, he wanted to send me to school but I insisted to cycle to school myself. After school, he wanted to send me to tuition but I insisted to let my friend fetched me. He wanted me to attend piano lessons but sometimes I skipped them. He wanted me to learn calligraphy but I decided to stop halfway. He wanted me to learn drawing but I told him that I have no more time for this kind of classes.

When my sister was still in secondary school, we always go up to Ipoh once a fortnight to visit the Tun Razak library for story books. When my sister was in college, we always come up to KL for one day trip - to shop for computer parts that I want.

I wanted him to live a relaxing life after his retirement but he knew that he would have to work even after retirement because there's no way he can support the family by just living on pension.

I know he always wanted the best for us, but it's just that sometimes we don't know how to appreciate it. I haven't had the chance to thank him yet. But he just left like that.

It's funny that I haven't shed a drop of tears for him back then but now the tears are swelling in my eyes whenever I think of him.

I know it's over a long time ago but.. there are just so many things that I wanted to talk to him.

...

I just need to rest for a while.